Controlled Aggression

Some days one finds a numbness in the mind, a sort of comfort feeling that brings down your drive to excel, brings down the passion to carry forward, brings down the aggression to fight and achieve, rather you find the mind settling into a druggy sluggishness. In fact this sensation in the mind gets heightened with romantic songs or a touchy sensation driven by an affectionate feeling towards a person, family or a even a mushy movie. 

Its a sort of a tipsy feeling that our mind definitely likes and lulls itself into that state. But such a state actually acts as a hurdle into the aggression that is required to propel ourselves in our career. In fact today has been such a day for myself, but I cannot fathom the reason that propelled my mind into this stupour. 

All the same once I get my mind active into a groove, to find and understand myself, the tipsy feeling clears off or rather wears off. I kind of have stumbled upon this fact that to come out of this state all it takes for me is to get into a quest for solving problems that have been looming in front of me or to take up something that I've been trying learn and grasp. Once an understanding of the problem and its solution dawns upon me, it kinda kicks off a train of thoughts in rapid pace and I get back that aggression that propels me back from the inertia of mind. I feel rejuvenated and charged up passionate to do more. At that moment I feel everything can be conquered!

But I find that if all we had was just the aggression, our mind would soon wear off and probably this inertia kinda rests the mind and rejuvenates it back. The tricky part is not to wallow in this stupour for long but to get back into the groove. The more one is able to control the mind back and forth between the calm and the aggression, the more you progress. I find this a sort of  controlled aggression, one that helps me propel forward and doesn't burn me out.

The stupour of the mind caused by the sensitivity is what helps me appreciate the nuances of life, the art, enjoy the affection that is showered upon me, the affection that I long for. True it does bring down my drive to some extent, makes me softer and not hard for the tough world around me, makes me a little complacent to a certain extent, but it does make me more of a balanced human.

Why we behave the way we behave

My ponderings has led me to believe that we(I) constantly need to radiate (or transmit call it by any means you want) my thoughts and our feelings. We do so in many ways. The most straightforward way would be to express it vocally, yes by talking about it to someone. But many a time, we don't opt for this straightforward means of expression. We rather convey it through our actions. Odd it seems doesn't it? But thats the most common outlet for our mind. 

Sometimes we leave telltale signs of acts/mannerisms or gestures hoping for people to read throug them, when most people (our friends to whom we try to convey) are busy with their own thoughts and their own transmissions. Hmm now doesn't it seem we are mostly preoccupied in our own world? 

Anyways coming back to our transmitting nature. I guess we feel the need to transmit not just to grab the attention but rather to prevent the mind from building up, rather how do I put it, its a way to keep things from packing up the mind maybe. Moreover i've noticed that its odd that we aren't straightforward with whom we ought to be straightforward to. Why is it that one gets locked up in emotions or rather be tied up and put ourselves forth. Would make a things a lot simpler for the people around us. 

Sometimes it feels like solving a cryptic crossword and the we act like cruciverbalists making cryptic puzzles for people around us (lol). In a way this blogging habit is also a way to pump out the mind. For me it serves to pour out all the observations and retrospection that runs around in my mind. 

To be continued...

The Beautiful Mind

I find my transformation from a totally emotional being to a controlled emotional person quite an improvement in my emotional intelligence levels. I now can use logical reasoning to get me out of an emotional fall. A person like me who as a kid has been quite sensitive and also aggressive mentally rather ruthless it is s a serious hamper this emotional pulldown.  But i've figured that our mind is an amazing learner, through logical reasoning that gets better with introspection and retrospection.

I believe that our mind has two faces to itself. A logical one and an emotional one. Some people are bestowed with the logical mind taking a stronger foothold and as such are better decision makers when stumped with an emotional situation or a situation of the heart. The emotional mind is what determines the person's sensitivity to poetry, art, love, affection and all the nuances in life. The logical mind to me determines the career decision making, analzye mathematical problems, weigh advantages and disadvantages of any sort in a non-biased manner. Basically any reasoning that is derived out of pure merits/demerits without being biased by any previous remnants in the mind, unless derived from a prior experience would be logical.

An person emotionally tilted tends to make erroneous decisions when faced with a problem related to heart/an emotionational situation or stays immobile and puts off decision making or gets clouded by his emotions. 

I've found that if the logical counterpart of your mind is able to win over the emotional part through constant persuasion or coaxing or a battle I find that I am able to get over any emotional complication. In fact it gets me back on track and analyze my situation from a neutral standpoint and am able to go over the incidents back again in a non-prejudiced manner, which is basically my style of introspection & retrospection.

Once the logical mind kicks one starts thinking rationally and any outbursts that would've otherwise happened get curbed, any decision that tends to get put off, gets taken care of, the mental lethargy/inertia which manifests as a procrastination gets collared. 

In fact a lot of opportunities get missed by a person who is depressed simply because in his emotional state of mind, he fails to notice it and take advantage of it. A successful person on the other hand in such an emotional state still has his logical section of his mind actively working and curbing his negative thoughts that gushes from the emotional mind.

A lot of the meditation and prayer techniques do work towards helping us find opportunities in the name of God/Religion. My feeling that this technique works, by just diverting your mind towards a positive belief (the belief in religion/god) and it kind diverts the mind's attention away from depressing/negative thoughts.

Our mind seems to be surprisingly single-threaded (single tasking at any instance). So any instant of time the mind can be only in one train of thought. True we switch back and forth. But the amount of time that mind spends in the depression/negative thought train, causes a catalytic or rather a chain reaction of negative feelings that is really detrimental. So the prayer/meditation techniques really take up the time that the mind otherwise would're resorted to travelling along the negative line and provide a relief. 

If one were able to kick back the logical thinking counterpart back in action, it would serve better to quell negative thoughts and what more you would be able to get over any trauma/emotional situation on your own. True you would'nt be able to get a switch on control which would be ideal, but you would be able to bring up the logical counterpart who could coax/battle away the emotional one.

More such amusing musings....